HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY / Debbie Wengert (Kevin's Mom )
Thank you Debbie!
Little visits from Rosie / Laurri (Mom)
8/1/2006 I had a dream that Rosie was floating face up in a knee deep water fountain or pond. Her long hair was flowing all around her and Collier was giving her CPR. (not sure what that was all about)
Then she was ok. She told me she wanted to come back, but couldn't. But that we could hang out anytime I wanted to, in my dreams.
I was so happy when I woke up. That would be good enough because I could be with her every night!
July 2006 Rosie had never been on an airplane. I wear her ashes in a heart shaped necklace so she took her first trip with me, headed to Atlanta. We left Chicago and I immediately started getting air sick. I have NEVER been airsick. It was Rosie, saying "get me off this plane!!" I stayed nausiated all the way to Indianapolis, where I changed planes. The next leg of the flight was a little better. Rosie was getting used to it…… She has been on 8 plane trips since and loves it.
10/4/2006 Rosie, I had a dream last nite! You had come back to marry Tony! In the dream, you were here but not really. Like you had moved to Australia and had to go back soon. Your hair had gotten much longer and was beautiful. You were standing across a field, near a pond and I walked toward you slowly because I thought that the closer I got to you, you would slip away. But as I got closer, you were still there and when I got to you I hugged you so hard! I had your head in the crook of my arm and I was giving you a million little kisses, like I did when you were little. It was such a good dream and I felt so good when I woke up. I wish you could come to me every night. I love you Rosie!!
10/16/2006 Megan and Sara both broke out with chicken pox the morning I went into the hospital to have Rosie. Megan had a mild case but Sara's was pretty severe. In her mouth, ears, everywhere. The doctor gave Rosie a shot so she hopefully would not get it too. She wound up getting 2 little pox anyway and the Doctor said that may or may not be enough to keep her from getting it again. She wound up with shingles when she was 3 years old that completely encircled her torso. It was awful and she had been plagued with cold sores ever since.
On my birthday this year, I woke up with a cold sore on my lip. Thanks Rosie.....
Long Story…. The day after Christmas, David left in the motorhome for a 3 week visit with his family in North Georgia. He really needed to get away and the plan was for me to fly down for a weeks vacation and drive back with him. One thing led to another at work and I had to keep putting off my vacation. It was getting very stressful being apart. No one on this planet feels like I do except David and I couldn't wait to get away so we could comfort each other. David's back pain was feeling better in the warmer weather so I encouraged him to stay. It was 10 weeks before I got my vacation time. I was frazzeled, stressed, you name it. I decided to meet him in Pensacola for a week on the beach and just relax.
My plane in Chicago had to be de-iced twice and we were late taking off. It kind of freaked me out but Rosie was ok with it….. I had a connecting flight in Atlanta and by the time I got to the gate, they had closed it. I had missed my flight! The next one wasn't for 6 hours! I sat down and started to cry. I just wanted to be with David.
Rosie loved the Stevie Wonder song "I just called to say I love you". She used to call me at work and sing it. I would put her on the speaker phone and my co workers would laugh and she would get mad. But she kept calling and singing and I kept putting her on speaker phone. It became a game. From her new job, she would email me three separate emails, I just called..... To say.... I love you. She sent it to me at 3:48 the day she died. It was my last correspondence with her.
I sat in the Atlanta airport, by myself, crying, sobbing actually, and suddenly over the music system, I hear Stevie Wonder. I just called...., to say...., I love you. It was Rosie comforting me. I love you Rosie. Thank you!
7-10-07 Finally, another dream! I don't know where we were, in a small dark room, maybe the outer area of a ladies restroom, there was a wall size mirror. Megan and Sara were doing their hair and Rosie was there, with her long and beautiful hair. She looked a little older and seemed more mature. Not her goofy, chatty self. We were so happy to see her! As we walked out of that room, I was hugging and kissing her non stop. I couldn't get enough kisses in. She didn't know why I was acting that way. I told her I have not seen you in so long and I am so happy to see you!!! She rolled her eyes at me, Oh Mom, like I was over reacting. That is all I remember. But enough to get me thru till the next visit. I love you Rosie!
12-25-07
In my dream, Rosie is standing at my bedroom door. She whispers, I'm sorry.....I'm sorry......I'm sorry.... over and over. I can hear her, far away, but as I begin to wake up, she stops. She just wanted to make sure I heard her. I love you so much Rosie. I know that you are sorry. We are sorry too, that we didn't know. And couldn't help you.
6-27-08
Finally, another dream. You woke up from your "coma" and did not remember what happened or why.
All you could talk about was all the favorite things
you wanted to eat, listing them one by one.
So thankful just to see your face and hear your sweet voice again. I love you Rosie, always and forever.
10/1/2008
Rosie had come home for a visit. And she was "allowed" to stay the whole weekend! It was just like she had moved away or something. Matt kept saying that he was so happy to have finallymet Rosie! And Darcy flew in for the weekend when she found out. Everyone was so happy.
It was a great dream Rosie. You looked happy, healthy, vibrant. Excited to see us. Thank you Rosie, I really needed to see you again.
To be continued.......
I love you Rosie / Auntie Kate (Aunt)
I pray for you and Grandpa everyday. I know that you are in God's hands. I love you little one, please take care of Grandpa and give him a kiss for me. Tell him his Chicken is fine.
Loved Ones' Suicide Survivors / Laurri Loved Ones' Suicide Survivors (All text copied from LOSS webpage)
The person who completes suicide dies once. Those left behind die a thousand deaths, trying to relive those terrible moments and understand ....WHY?
We are all “intertwingled”.… separate, yet together, alike, yet different. We are interwoven such that, together, we are more than we are apart. Each of us is desperately loved and needed by others. But love isn't enough! If it were, our loved ones would still be alive.
We are parents, spouses, siblings, children, relatives, lovers, partners, in-laws, companions, and friends of one who has completed suicide. We are “those left behind.” Victims of a tragedy that we could not foresee but feel responsibility for, and for which there is no closure.
We are angry about our loss and seek the ability to express our anger appropriately, whether at the one we have lost, at others who ignored or were negligent about our loved one’s health, or at ourselves. We struggle with guilt and blame.
We have a right to grieve in a manner and time frame that works best for us. We don’t have to “get over it” or “move on.” The intensity of our loss remains constant, the frequency of intense feelings does lessen over time.
We face together the cruel reality that others will remember our loved ones, not for their life and how they lived it, but for their death and how it came to be.
We are Loved Ones’ Suicide Survivors (LOSS). We suffer an especially acute, long, and painful grief. Our needs are not well understood. Our grief is complex, overwhelming and disabling. Death is a normal life crisis – suicide is an abnormal life crisis.
We grieve, but we need not grieve alone. Here we come together in a room of unconditional love, understanding and support, to share with each other our pain, our confusion, our anger, our fears, and our memories, both good and bad. Here we celebrate the life of our loved ones as we struggle with the reality of their needless death.
I'm praying / Megan Wangall (Friend of Rosie ) Dear Rosanne, I was in Rosie's Psychology class, and let me tell you she was the life of that class. Rosie, scott and I used to go to Applebee's after class and drink. I met you once over the summer and I just want to say thank you so much for bringing such a wonderful daughter into this world. I looked to her in admiration. She was by far the strongest person I'd ever met. She was amazing!! I miss you Rosie!!
Thank you Megan, we all miss her. Thank you for sharing your fond memories with me. Laurri
Happy Birthday RoRo / Megan Lowe (Sister)
Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday to you Happy Birthday dear RO RO..........................
Happy Birthday to you!
Thank you for the beautiful day you've given us. I miss you so much.
Meg
Your first Heavenly Birthday / Mom And Dad
My Dearest Rosie, This is the first birthday we will spend without you. While the day will be a somber one for us, we are going to celebrate you, your life, your love, your memory.
You weren't here long enough, but I am still so thankful that I had you at all. You were such a blessing in my life and I will love you till my last breath, and beyond. I don't think the English language has the words that can describe that love. I hope you can feel it.
We are going to eat your favorite, sloppy joes. I am cooking them tonite, I bet you can you smell them. We are also going to send up 23 balloons, each with a special message for you. Watch for them!
Just wanted you to see what I'll be doing tomorrow on MY Birthday - YUP!! Me and Milo are going bike riding through the Milky Way - Is that waaaay COOL, or what??? Please smile when you think of me - There is NO place like HEAVEN, and we're getting it all fixed up for your arrival.
I love you,
BIGGER THAN THE MILKY WAY,
RuRu
A Poem for You, Laurri, from Marla with Love.
Seeping deep within my bones Dampness and cold Send a chorus of shivers down my spine. Rain clouds hover Ominously above me, Casting a gloom across the mournful night. Heartache and despair Weigh heavily on my shoulders. Softly fallen raindrops Cascade onto my face Like perfectly formed pearls. I pull my coat tightly around me. Once again I shiver as the distant hooting of a night owl startles me. Lost within my grief, the night passed on by, not a sound to be heard. My thoughts wander to you wondering where you are. Slowly, but surely, you make your presence felt, At first it was just a slow realization that I wasn’t alone, The tiny hairs on my arms started to stand up with the knowledge. I rose from the spot where I sat with trepidation and uncertainty. As I Looked toward you, a feeling of relief and disbelief washed over me Like a tidal wave set on its course unable to stop. Emotions flooded through me, raging out of control. A smile played across your mouth as you watched the conflict of emotions inside me.
The next thing I remember is the warmth of your embrace. You spoke to me with love and affection. The tears started to flow again, Creating a deep seated cleansing in my soul. You showed me wonders beyond my comprehension. You took me on a tour of Heaven. We sat and listened To the chorus of angels singing in tune to the universe, Their perfect crystal voices piercing to my very being, Their perfect faces and golden wings are etched on my memory forever. I heard the sound of thunder and lightening booming in the distance. You turned to me as I inquired as to its origin And said, “Mom, that’s not thunder & lightening. That’s the voice of God.” “But God’s not real,” I said. “Oh, yes He is, Mom, He is very real. Who do you think created the wonder of heaven and earth? One day you will understand God and all His wonders. When it is your turn to arrive here, I will be waiting for you. But for now, you must go back and finish your journey.” Then you leaned across and kissed me That was the last I remember of you
As I drifted off into sleep on the fluffiest and whitest of clouds I had ever seen I awoke the next morning within the safety of my bed. The sun was streaming through the windows heralding the arrival of a new day. The birds were singing and the bees a buzzing. Somewhere down the street a neighbor was mowing the lawn striving for perfection. I snuggled down deeper under the covers. And pondered the events of the night before, wondering if it was real or imagined,
When the distant echo of an angels’ chorus played a serenade deep within my soul The faint but tangible smell of your cologne lingered in the crisp morning air. The reverberations of that booming voice pulsed in my spirit. It made me realize just how small and insignificant we are in God’s grand scheme of things.
And it’s not for us to question God, Only to live our lives And to accept His will.
Grandpa Feis joins Rosie / Laurri (Loving Mom )
Feis, Matthew "Matt" > MADISON - Matthew "Matt" Feis, age 79, of Madison, passed away peacefully on Wednesday, Oct. 11, 2006, in his home. Matt was employed as a New York City police officer, volunteered as a fireman in both New York and Illinois and also proudly served his country in the New York National Guard and the U.S. Navy. He was an avid fisherman, had pleasurable sense of humor and was a great role model of possessing a positive attitude. Matt is survived by his loving wife of 58 years, Peggy Ann Feis; children, Garrett W. Feis, Kathleen (Dick) Roellig and Laurri (David) Lowe; 11 grandchildren; and 14 great-grandchildren. He was preceded in death by his parents, Henry and Hannah (Kobrofsky) Feis; a sister, Ruth Bowen; and granddaughter Rosie Lowe. A private memorial service to celebrate Matthew's life will be held at a later date. Matt will be fondly remembered by his family for his zest of enjoying life to its fullest.
I did not tell my Dad that Rosie had died. He was not well himself and just did not want to burden him. He had suffered a stroke 2 years earlier that paralyzed his right side and took his speech.
I was blessed to be by his side the last 5 days of his life.
He died at his home that he shared with my mom and my sister on Wednesday just after midnight. On Tuesday evening, when it was apparent that he could not hold on much longer, I whispered in his ear that Rosie had died in June and that I needed him to gowith both his arms and hug her for me. Though the morphine kept him sedated/unconcious, his breathing changed as if to say "WHAT??? Rosie????"
He passed peacefully, 2 hours later. It was bittersweet. Losing this pillar in my life just after losing my baby. But thankful that he was at peace and out of pain and that Rosie was not alone. I knew that Grandpa would look after her.
Rosie and Grandpa terrorized each other daily the 3 years he lived in my home with us. Grandpa was a prankster and Rosie fell for it every time.
I would imagine it continues today......
I love you Dad! And I miss you!
Happy Easter from Our Home to Yours . . . / Marla -. ^j^ Mom Of Milo (A Forever Friend )
All My love on this Easter Day and Always,
Marla
Milo's Mom Forever
Josh Groban - To Where You Are / Laurri (Loving Mom )
Josh Groban - To Where You Are
Who can say for certain Maybe you're still here I feel you all around me Your memories so clear
Deep in the stillness I can hear you speak You're still an inspiration Can it be(?) That you are mine Forever love And you are watching over me from up above
Fly me up to where you are Beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight To see you smile If only for awhile to know you're there A breath away's not far To where you are
Are you gently sleeping Here inside my dream And isn't faith believing All power can't be seen
As my heart holds you Just one beat away I cherish all you gave me everyday 'Cause you are mine Forever love Watching me from up above
And I believe That angels breathe And that love will live on and never leave
Fly me up To where you are Beyond the distant star I wish upon tonight To see you smile If only for awhile To know you're there A breath away's not far To where you are
I know you're there A breath away's not far To where you are
Music: Richard Marx Lyrics: Linda Thompson Produced and Arranged by: Richard Marx
Rosie, you remain in the thoughts and hearts of so many. You touched the lives of so many people, in positive ways, and I am sure that you did not even know it. I know that you are looking down now and can see that and I hope that brings you solace and comfort.
Your radiant smile, sparkling eyes; your laughter and excited and rapid speech whenever you were enthused about something; your caring nature and warm heart; are all gifts that you gave to the world and those around you. Those things we will always hold dear and remember. We thank you for them.
Thank You Rosie!
Brett, you have really captured Rosies spirit and personality in these two paragraphs. Thank you so much for this heartwarming tribute and keeping her in your thoughts!
Happy Easter / Rosemary Sis Of ^j^ Alvin Cremeans
Thinking of you and understanding your feelings / Cheryl Day~Mom To Angel William Joe Day (Another grieving Mom ) Thank you so much for visiting my son, Joe's site. I am glad as it also gave me the opportunity to know who Rosie is as well as her mom and family. I am so very sorry for your loss. I really do know your pain as I lost my baby as well. No words can take away the pain that you are going through, I know. But please know that you are not alone in this. Many moms have lost their children and if we try to stay together, we can maybe make a difference. Suicide is one of the most preventable deaths among young people so they say. Not always, but sometimes. For me, I know that my son's death was preventable had he called the right people that one gloomy, dark night of his. I encourage you to be a part of the education and prevention of suicide and help us change this #2 cause of death among young people in the US. If I can help in any way, any way at all, please let me know. I am starting a foundation in memory of my son so to help with education and scholarships for kids. I have also been going to some training to learn about this thing called suicide and have learned so much. Although I know it will not bring Joe back and I struggle with the guilt of not realizing things before, I still can't help but believe that I may help make a difference for another child, Mom, sister, Dad, etc... Try to be good to yourselves, this is a long hard road. Rosie sounds like a wonderful loving daughter, sister, friend and I think she would want nothing but the best for her loved ones. I am so sorry that she made such a decision that left you all so helpless and hurt. Please, if ever you want, e-mail me, I am here. Love of love and many many hugs to each and everyone of you. I will visit again. Cheryl Mom to Joe http://williamjoeday.memory-of.com
What I miss / Megan Lowe-Adamson (Sister)
Rosie- A million times I've wished for one more goodbye, one more hello I have thought about calling you or waiting for your call Stopping by and seeing you, or seeing you drive by Hearing you talk, remembering your voice Seeing you smile, laughing with you Hanging out, doing nothing or running around in a panic with you There's an open spot at the table, I wish you were eating off my plate Playing with my kids, giving them a hard time Letting them drive you crazy, hugging them, kissing them Coming into my work just because you were bored-or because I was Picking up food just because I was hungry The pictures aren't enough, the memories aren't enough I need you-everything about you. The things that I loved, the things that drove me crazy, made me laugh or made me cry. And I can't wait to have you back again.
I love you and I look forward to the day that I can tell you how sorry I am for not being a better sister to you and not being there for you when you needed me the most. Meg
What a beautiful page / Tonya Walker (member of the angel connection ) Hi there i just viewed Rosies page and it is so beautiful, she is a beautiful lady and i am sure she didnt mean for it to be permanent. We do some things in life sometimes that we cant go back and change and that is the hard part. Your page is a beautiful tribute to Rosie and what a unique person she was! I can honestly say you tugged at my heart strings i can feel your love for her and i know your pain, i lost my firstborn in July of 06, Patrick. Love and hugs Tonya mom to angel Patrick.. http://www.myspace.com/caseypatrickwalkerjr
THE ROSE STILL GROWS BEYOND THE WALL / Helen Feign (friend of the family )
Laurri & David & Family, When I think of Rosie I think of this poem that was given to me when God called my baby girl home to Him. I pray you find some comfort through it as I did.
THE ROSE STILL GROWS BEYOND THE WALL
Near a shady wall a rose once grew, Budded and blossomed in God's free light, Watered and fed by morning dew, Shedding its sweetness day and night.
As it grew and blossomed fair and tall, Slowly rising to loftier height, It came to a crevice in the wall, Through which there shone a beam of light.
Onward it crept with added strength, With never a thought of fear or pride, It followed the light through the crevice's length, And unfolded itself on the other side.
The light, the dew, the broadening view Were found the same as they were before; And it lost itself in beauties new, Breathing its fragrance more and more.
Shall claim of death cause us to grieve, And make our courage faint or fail? Nay! Let us faith and hope receive: The rose still grows beyond the wall.
Scattering fragrance far and wide, Just as it did in days of yore, Just as it did on the other side, Just as it will for evermore.
A. L. Frink
This is beautiful! Thank you Helen!
A valentine for an angel / Rosemary Sis Of ^j^ Alvin Cremeans
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